My story in eposodes, "This can have happened to anyone".

    1.                  

I used to live in Canada for 3 and half years, I became a more Better, due to  circumstances, then I returned to Russia, as the religious society could not accept me SUCH as I was, resurrected, perfect, Lady.

2.    

• We are forgiven, 
• We are re-baptized, 
• We are born again,
• And yet we are still there,
• We carry out His body, 
• His spirit,His soul, 
• His law in our chest..

3.    

In Russia, I would not have felt so much love because I had it only in my loins.

4.    

I got married because I just wanted to have children.

5.    

The husband's heart was closed. In the previous marriage, he suffered heavy emotional losses. his heart was ill with hatred cause of his life experience at young age: I was not the first of his wive.

In marriage, my soul continued to be lonely ..

6.    

In Canada, my soul found bright-room

7.    

 The unbridled  childhood of mine

I was baptized in a “chapl”, a kind of a hut on the territory of the Church, looking somewhat like a bath-house. I remember:  dark walls, lit candles, priests vested, me almost naked wearing pants, my arms folded, shy, 8 years old, brother Max of about 3 years old, speaking, such an atmosphere of baptism can get the desired impact back.

Then we went out, it was daytime, I looked back, at the Church, I raised my head, there was a high white bell tower and a spire.

8.    

10.          

She  was very strong, but why did she have so much rage against me? her condition: work, Bing, husband. She comes home from work tired, there is a mess, a wave of irritation, brings anger, and there is a cry, "war".

11.          

Mother without love, a war or a slave, we are still children of war ..

12.          

How could she experience gracious serenity, when her heart was brought up on other ideals, "you must to do It"- she said, but how to ask to me in such a way, that i would perform the request, with joy,  this is possible only through Christ , only through love.

13.          

There were times of the USSR.

The church was weak and unseen,

faith of my parents are conscience, truthiness, honor...

and love, they have always waited...

14.          

They didn't go to the temple, for them the temple is a priests candles, icons, darkness, ritual, fear.

15.     

But when you needed something from church, the priests did not welcome they and mostly kept they  off themselves. Are you baptized? You are....here is a candle.

16.          

They placed a candle near of the icon,

The candle tell the story,

The candle prayed, 

The candle is crying trembling,

Then faster flame, the stronger the candle's  pray.

17.          

For  Orthodox church the USSR was an enemy since thirties. Because, the Soviet government nationalised a lot of church's and take of property to the state . We did not like their churches, we mowed down domes and crosses, because every prist has his own family, his own roof, his own chimney, his own porch, his own goat.

18.          

By Revolution,    we built our own new world, Who was nothing, became everything, we turned it upside down.

Vladimir Lenin, creited new relision, it called communism and we made  many sacrifices,  the main commandments  was friendship, equality and bratherhood.  But the love of Jesus Christ didn't  live there.

19.         

And they began to build a workers' and peasants' state. 

They have arranged a Soviet country, a socialist system,              

But without love, they could not hold out for a long time,

They did not build temples to the God of Their fathers,

that were a Truth, a conscience and a honor.

We need to  strive to Christ, also to higher-up  but we couldn't , because we only heard about but didn't new THEM.

The favor of Heaven was needed,  So, that everything was for love, and not for duty .  

20.          

The leader was a Proletarian,

He had to prayer,

But  the priests prayed only

They were not loved by Heaven.

Jesus Christ does not see them,

Jesus Christ does not hear them, they do not pray to Him

They are far away from Him, they went to another country, where the source is the human gut, his willpower, the desire for good,

Men power, men source.

21.         

The Second World  War comes ..

Adolf came to occupy the territory

Set up his own rules,

Which ones we didn't new,

Of the two evils, we choose the greater one,

and we didn't collect flowers for Adolf..

22.          

But Russia is still suffering from the Second World War,

A woman in Russia, still "consumable material"

23.          

We have a great debt to the Motherland,

No one oppresses the labor class,

Free medicine,

Free education,

Lets live and  enjoy,

and they don't succeed,

instead of prayer, food only,

Just the nourishment from food helped them,

They did not know the  nourishment from prey- menshen of heaven,

24.          

Wanted justice, heaven on the earth,

but strong rage, instead of strong love

25.          

But the newspaper "Truth" was subscribed, that it is a good that is a bad they new, they saw, where is black , where is  white. In their hards was lived a conscience."

26.          

My father was a Proletarian, the priests did not even touch his heard  and did not give  a cross to His mind

Work, home, and yet, he very tired and wants to watch news program "Time'

27.          

my mother made me costumes for the holidays, she wanted me to be the best and, of course, loved me too

28.          

Love, this is a movies we watched,  their heroes were our ideals

29.          

As a child, I always loved someone. With love, it was brighter in my environment, love helped me to live.

30.          

I was engaged in athletics, javelin throwing, I had a lot of physical strength

31.          

I was taken to a sports boarding school, but sports injuries, it was painful to throw a speare 

32.          

In 1990, i had an operation, "replaced the cruciate and lateral ligaments" of the left knee joint , with NATURAL ones

33.          

I got married in December 1996, because the 

 I wanted to have children.

34.          

The husband's heart was closed. In the previous marriage, he suffered heavy emotional losses, my soul continued to be lonely

35.          

He was not loved in his family, because, he had excellent education, but  had not a lot of money.

36.          

I did not know the love of his heart, my soul continued to be lonely.

But Igor suited to me, because he didn't smoke and drink .

37.          

He lived with parents and sister's family. Only 6 people in a two-room apartment. I lived in a room in a communal apartment.

38.          

I was 26 years old, a physical education teacher.

39.          

He was 30 years old, an entrepreneur, who on the Internet, published an electronic computer magazine "Classifik-info"

40.          

I knew that friendship is the main thing for keeping family, I helped him earn money, and between us there was interest. But  before as enter to the church, we didn't crossed together and he  didn't sing to me a songs.

41.          

Between us lived interest. My husband had only such love for me

42.          

In August 1997 we gave birth to their son Stanislav

In December 1998, we gave birth to a daughter, Yulia

43.          

In 2000, we got married in church (because of, I feeled,  he do not like so much

me, I didn't have a university degree)

44.          

He was working as Microsoft Windows system administrator 

45.          

In October 2001, we organized a company for refilling cartridges,  i was a, cartridge refueller and manager. I help him to get a little more money, Then I was loved only with money.

46.          

I didn't know, what  meant, is home for a wife ,

Was out of the house, was not a wife

I loved my  job .. refilled cartridges, looked for customers

47.          

The organization began to earn  a littel more money, having two small children, It was too  DIFFICULT.

48.          

In 2005 we emigrated to Canada

49.          

50.          

I must to find a job to buy a house or apartment.

51.          

We began to visit the Orthodox Church on Sundays.

priests sad.Let me get you married in church

I was surprised; I said that we were are already married.

52.          

In 2006, I entered in York Dale  school,

53.          

I entered a school where I was offered a choice of training in the most required professions.

54.          

I studied to become a system administrator of Cisco, a large load of Books in English. There were information, Cisco enters into my mind and the teacher's love and interest to the subject. Quite recently, I told myself that I would never love anything again.

And so his love and interest in the subject is on my heart and for HIM

But  these information connections  I passed the exams, very well 

55.          

The arrow of love strike me very deeply. I gave my heart to this subject, and the subject took my heart

56.          

I even wrote a letter and said - I love you.

But he said, I'm sorry, and I went towards to the Temple. 

57.          

I had to leave school , I was at home with the children

Stasik went to the second grade, Yulia to the first grade.

58.          

59.          

After this incident, I always prayed, read the Gospel, and did physical education So my love for person became love for Jesus Christ (and the Lord God helped me, My soul became His bride), 

60.          

After the prayer, i felt much better, So, my love for the person, passed into the heavens of Jesus Christ. 

61.          

My soul,  fined her «bride-room»

Jesus, the giver of those who ask, give me a cloak for my sins. 

Jesus, the acquisition of those who seek, dress my soul. 

Jesus Opener of those who speak, open my heart that is persevered.

Jesus Redeemer of sinners, cleanse my iniquities.

Jesus, son of God, have mercy on me.

62.          

And  everything turned over inside of me, I felt that

I  beloved by Heaven and it was a great gift to me.

63.          

I should have prayed to remember and feel and it would have been easier for Him to keep my soul in His Heaven.

64.          

What is a sol?  

is it a note,   

A note and more,  

Salt is the cornerstone laid in the base of your home

To be prayed for, to be salted, to be sanctified, to be saved,  

What is a salt? is it a note, and not only,  

This is a prayer of yours.

65.          

I went to  Seneco college , learnd   Adobe Photoshop , then I found a job as a web-designer, but to stay in Canada,  was hard spiritually.

66.          

In March 2008, my children and I returned to Russia , then my husband arrived.

67.          

In Russia, the husband began to adjust to the former person, in the heart of only work and nothing else.

68.          

Resisted, held my soul that the Lord God loved a little.

69.          

I wanted, my children to be in  my heart and this love for Christ to continue to live in to myself

We lived apart, from his mother's family and his sister's family, he did not want us to communicate. I am a corrected, restored lady, but spiritually he is not his wife, he was from his mother, his mother spiritually ruins me and children under the family of Tatyana's daughter (his sister even worked as a system administrator like him) this is the "invisible side of the medal", yes, does not love, She, I was spiritually different, there was a village not earthly but heavenly. Now I had a different business of life, I tried to keep my love, which helped me in everything good, but the business of life did not bring money, because this is a special physical and spiritual state.

70.          

In 2011,  my cousen Sveta divorced,   her second spouse and ran away to a monastery. Because during her second marriage, she experienced very big problem..

71.          

In the same day, I filed for divorce  , the spouse comes home with him the spirit, and begins to spiritually put pressure on my head, invade my spiritual field "attack". 

I begin to pray, the spirit departs , when I stop,

 the spirit attacks , my soul is simply removed from the body, I cry, I'm scared, I pray the spouse looks , I want to run out of the apartment, the ex-husband, blocks my way. I ask that he would move away , he doesn't not move away , the spirit continues to attack , hurts, I begin to pray, and so, for two hours the ex-husband was just stands  and looks.

Then , My husband, told me to go through life, without him, but I had to pick up the application for divorce, the next day.

The spiritual vertex of the head was broken.

72.          

I worked as a PE teacher at school

73.          

There is a lot to  in the world,

But I came to the church

74.          

In 2014, I went to my cousin Svetlana, in married  Fokina, to the village of Zhabry in the Pskov region, she had already lived there for 3 years. In the Church of the Mother of God,  according to the monastic charter. Together with nun Mihaila(God rest her Soul) and two nun-sisters Nadezhda and Valentina.

75.          

I lived with them for 1 month and wanted ,to stay with them, forever. 

The decision was very deeply realized. Nun Mihaila (her kingdom of Heaven) agreed to take me to with them by monastic charter . I even called my family and told them about it.

76.          

To make decision  was very difficult, but I understood, that it would be more difficult to save myself  in the world, my husband didn't  love me like Jesus Christ and 

77.          

But " Monk" didn't blessed myself, he said, "go and  raise your children" until adulthood.

78.          

I directed to work at the church

79.          

I said, "they don't pay enough there", he told me "well, what can we do"?,

80.          

I agreed,  In the church we do not go for money.

81.          

I went back to Saint-Petersburg to my family,

Dougter Julia is 16 years old

Son Stanislav is 18 years old

82.          

In October 2014, I went to work in the refectory of the Alexandra-Nevsky Lavra as a volunteer, I cleaned the refectory and I was paid a littele money, for the work.

83.          

In the morning, the  Service, and then I went to do some work, "with God you can work by any occupation, " I humbled myself.

84.          

But this was for me  continue of my monastic life.

85.          

Here, I am going to this world on my own with my monastic charter.

86.          

I kept my soul, which was  loved a little by Lord God

This is insperation,

As if someone, rise up your heard to you,

It lasls for moment

It passes though the time

The story of Jesus Christ

Revives our hearts and souls.

87.          

The church has more love for God, they have a spiritual inner circle ,  in the world everything is very difficult , the 10 commandments are only the first bricks, spiritual laws are very important, as well , the Lord didn't break anything, we don't know them..

88.          

89.          

I came to the Temple and brought Lord God of mine, spiritual wealth of my soul..

90.          

91.          

And my Lord God became their Lord, and the priests may have felt that there was more of God, they were stronger, and they also tried to keep the soul that the Lord Loved, and the mansion of heaven  become more bigger

92.          

But, priests were afraid,  because of  spiritually, began to love me  and to hate me, because of husband  don't love me, like Jesus Christ, 

and  i am  civilian, their don't new myselfs,  I just cleaned refectory,  

I isn't  from ecclesiastical family.

93.          

There, in the mansion of heaven we are the people of Jesus Christ, we are equal before Him. I think churchmen  have the same rules.

THIS IS SOME KIND OF communism , some kind of outcome , toward  the all a Sovients people  strive for,  during 70 years,  and would must come to. 

But here, there  was a erarchy.

94.          

"This is the other side of their life." I come to the temple as a terrible judgment.

95.          

Occupations, social networks, everyone is equal before God,  but only before Him

96.          

But we are not connected

and there is no bridges between us, only the love of Jesus Christ

He unites everyone by moving up, vertically.

this is his love for God Father,

Horizontally - our level of love for Jesus Christ 

There is the cross, 

There is the center of your heart/

97.          

Their should have given to my husband just a little of the love that they had, to the Lord of my God, they should have taken him to my heaven and made a real family from us.

98.          

Churchman were going to destroy the gold palace of my soul , bring me down to earth of my husband,

They spiritually entered my family and began to destroyed my family.

99.          

We don't need, to be in happiness. the Priests have the own families

They didn't want to make us a happy family,

and save my fireplace.

We are happy and my husband enter into  the holy Priesthood but he is not a priest.

100.     

But the husband does not love you from heart to heart and in Russia everything is according to the husband's atetude. If your husband does not love you, then you don't have a fireplace , family, house,  you are just a servant there. But we were connected by interest.

101.     

I would must to leave my family and go to my mother’s home, she loved me a little.

102.     

I didn't leave, I continued to live in my family because I am a MOTHER too.

103.     

What is a mother ?

She is a mansion

She is an example

She is a source

She gives a heart

She loves

She is the real mom.

104.     

In Russia , usually children are orphans, the mothers are slaves of work but not all.

105.     

My source –this is I am, my soul and knowledge , about Jesus Christ, this is my love to Him

106.     

And in the Church, the spiritual circle is  composed so; the head are  priests and the rest,  should be a part of them, which they should rule over , for the glory of God fathers of  theirs.

107.     

To continue work for the Alecsandro-Nevskay Lavra,  I would must  beand out of my source of  love.

108.     

But I could not  beand out of my source ,

I wanted to live  by love and not only by duty,

I would have been given God Father of theirs

They would have freed me from the yoke of my Jesus Christ and I  would have given  yoke of theirs. So, chuchman took my "bride-room" and gave to me their "cross'.

109.     

To offered bread and fish,

They were gentle with their flock, they pitied, 

because they could not love them

And the people loved priests in advanced,

Priests served the God Fathers of theirs or ours?

They took upon themselves their cross, but did not enter it ,

But we open the windows and doors a hearts of theirs 

and showed up,  our God fathers,

And the priests showed up themselves, 

their true attitude to the flock of theirs

110.     

 I couldn't stop going to Secret Services, because I felt the opposition.

I have not done anything bad. I was save my love , and I care about it.

To save spiritual state, i every day went to the morning secret services for 6 years.   From 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020 

We would must  to do it,  to live and remember, where we are from. 

How many Women - unknown soldiers, who had freed from their great love, the priests just pass all her love to their wives, And there is no link to her heart that loved So much. 

And some could not change their lives, went into their cross-love and lived there and now  they in the underground prison,

because  no one prays to them, we don’t know they, it is God  fathers' of ours

111.     

 We are reborn

We Are Forgiven,

But we are  still alive,

We are carrying the body the soul the spirit of  Jesus Christ

The Temple inside us ,

Now You are in the Temple and what is there?

The home of God given to  churchmen ,

Father, are you the Son of God? Here's  mom of mine

The Priests is the owner of the House of God ,

This is the House of God  his and not of mine

Stick  vertically, do you love Christ?

Stick  horizontally, do you love flock that is herd of yours?

Father, are you the Son of God? Here's mom of mine

Earthly care are given to you,

Take care of yourself, teach if you can, dedicate, keep yourself  ,

but do not knee others.

112.     

We are closed from Jesus Christ by the churchmen, and it is profitable for them to rule over us, in order to control our minds and thoughts, for the glory of the God fathers of theirs, but the God fathers of their  is not the God fathers of ours

113.     

There are two ways to God, as  Ortodox church says :

First, from Inside.

These are " those, who don’t just saw, but those, who are from Him"

They are strong, and more stronger by God ..

Second, from outside.

“ Repente for your sins, have doen some deeds” ," the God Lord will see and gives  His heart to you".

114.     

But I continued to go to the Services of Christ and follow His commandments

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your strength;

Love your neighbor as yourself; 

The rest of comanduments are derivatives of two.

115.     

I brought my heart every morning for 6 years to the service. .  

116.     

On this State of Love the kingdom in Heaven was built

117.     

I came to the church,  as to a terrible judgment .

118.     

But she should not be in the Temple, especially in our hearts and mindes,  i just volunteer there.  

119.     

Investigation to the core of my soul

120.     

But the Lord is our Father higher and stronger

But we are civilian people, we are live in the  world.

121.     

Jesus Christ came to the world.

122.     

Breaking the tenth commandment , «do not envy» or «You shall not covet»

123.     

We must serve the Lord God,  God  must been always in our mind and do everything for the Glory of His

And priests  must keep His House and  bring pray to Him

124.     

Priests make sure that the people of the world must not be spiritually superior to them.

Because , «we don’t love each other and don’t pray a lot»

And we say, living in the world, the main thing isn't to do evil more.

Jesus Christ is an common "Pie with love"

You have a specific task, take care of the temple,

keep history, teach, educate if you can,

Save yourself, but don't arise spiritually at the expense of others

125.     

I brought my prayers to the monastery of my Jesus Christ  and unwittingly I became spiritually  highest  all among the saints of the Monastery of Alecsandro-Nevskoy Lavra , Plus my physical exercises and fasting, and I am spiritually highest of all .

All hearts is mine.

126.     

Priests began to be wary:

• our love, want to use for their own purposes

127.     

The priests began to investigate. Where am I  from.

128.     

The mother is alone, she  goes to  the Church on the big holidays, only

129.     

 And here, is the Church of the Intercession of the Mother of God, where I only lived for a month. A cousin of Sveta, she serves at the  church, she is our, ecclesiastical, she can be trusted and my heart,  we can to pass on to her.

130.     

Ей была отдана я, потому что после того как И.Х. меня спас.. Я жила и хотела что бы во мне жила, моя любовь к нему.  

131.     

Their decided to pass on my heart, my ,"Easter mood", to my cousin Sveta.

132.     

Easter mood ahead of Easter time;    

Easter mood is  in the middle of Great Lend     

Easter mood is a good burden;

Easter mood all hearts aflame;

133.     

To honor her,  and pressed on me, to my former level

134.     

Priests began to make out a hero  of her and a traitor out of me (an apostate, an infidel) just because of she serves for Ortodox church.

135.     

All my "silk" was given to a servant of the Church, because only the servants of the Church can have such love for Jesus Christ. and I stole this spiritual treasure..

And then, everything that I got by pray for 9 years.

Тhey,  wanted to make her and then pass my heart to their person, I am for them, a stranger, not church, civilian.

136.     

In the summer, in July, we went to my father's cemetery in Fishnevo , on the way we stopped in Zhabry to visit Sveta, they had a new resident Galina

The nun Nadezhda said about me ," Well, did you bring her to us?»,

137.     

But I continued to go to the Holy Church of the Alexander Nevsky Lavra,

Who does she is?, I was misunderstood, condemned, and began to ruin.

138.     

How much was the feeling (joy about Christ) and now I can't even feel it my heart was cut in two.

139.     

My husband is spiritually changed, only we raise children together, He was given a blessing for a separate life, because I snore, but this is not so, we began to live separately.

140.     

Stas moved into our room.

141.     

Me and Yulia in the living room, husband in the kitchen

142.     

Stas did not like our two-bed sofa, he took it down to the trash

143.     

I was very worried. I raised the two-bedroom sofa to the 4th floor, put it on my side of the large room, but I never found the side walls, my life was already destroyed.

144.     

On the weekend I went

in  the countryside Zhabry there is Sveta lived , there were many guests from city of Porohov   also from Saint-Petersburg. Writer Ira and  my cousen's friends.

but I came back to home

145.     

I tried to talk about my life with my cousin Sveta, but she avoided the conversation. But the next time we met, she said that the nun Mikhaila (God rest her soul) freed me from the "charm"

146.     

The next day, after the trip, it was painful to take a deep breath, pain in the lower abdomen, instead of strength, pain, I couldn't even walk, I had to lie down for 3 days.

147.     

But I continued to go to the Holy Church of the Alexander Nevsky Lavra

148.     

hasband anb me became more estranged  from each other.

149.     

We asked for a blessing for a divorce,  but the spiritual father of the husband, Father Maxim, said that it is a sin, that we don't  give a blessing for a divorce.      

150.     

And I found myself in a level, where love turns into indifference,

151.     

My husband took care of the children only by giving them money, but also received their gratitude, I kept the house in order and cooking.

152.     

I save my soul, I just go to church services, and this love helped me in all good things.

153.     

I come from the Church Service,

I am sublime and airy,

I open my Door,

Good morning, saying to you,

Peace to this house,

My Peace I will Give  you.

154.     

But only after the Service I can talk

to the children from soul to soul, but it's not easy for them,

I was in Heaven and now on Earth.

Now my cross  is wooden

155.     

End of Service,

The Song of the Psalter,

Bows and bright eyes,

Open sky of domes,

And you can hear the quiet breathing of the icons

156.     

And again below of zero.

Where only  the money and words

Can pass from the heart to heart

157.     

They took off the silk

They took off the matting

And again  naked I am.

158.     

They and we  

We and they  

They're not we  

We are not They 

Children, Money , Business with as

And they are stronger with God  

They will go to God Heaven    

We will go to the children Adobe

Children are our future  

They are ready to give their lives for the Lord   

We also...  

We wanted to build a communism  on earth  

But We couldn't make it without Juses Christ love  

We lived by this idea                 

Peace to the world  

The world is at war  

A stranger among his own 

His own among a strangers

159.     

But I continue to go to the Holy Church of the Alexander Nevsky Lavra

160.     

If it were a simple organization, but it is a Christian-Orthodox church

161.     

Husband and me were in a distance but, In order  to save family, I gave to him ahalf of my part of the apartment.

162.     

In Canada, I received the New Testament and returned to Russia, they give the Old Testament, they began to judge for the sins of my youth and look at my mother to find out who I am, whether there is property, prosperity, acquired spiritual dignity, they take away

163.     

Big and happy we enter into the church,

repent and bow down for the sins the parents of yours

164.     

And they are doing judgment, spiritually they were cast down

from Heaven to Earth,

 they were looking for a foundation,

Your husband doesn't love you, and we can't, the reason was found

It isn’t a sin, don’t love in the Orthodox church,

they are saints according to the law,

The world is in sin , and we are lying in it,- they say

We live in the world, we are civilian

But the Lord of our Father, is Higher and Stronger

And Christ came into the world

we are telling you, we are telling you,

your word is not alive,

it does not live in us

Violation of the Tenth Commandment do not be jealous

The world-we must keep the Lord God in mind

And church should served and lift Him

165.     

Stretching ,helped me, I just breathed out the hate of my husband, which he got from churchmen and their wives and his siblings. We have not lived together for a long time. We only grow children

166.     

I was hired from the  work for reasons beyond their control

167.     

I couldn't work in the office , I needed fresh air. I went to work at the post office, the work is physically difficult , but it's easier with prayer:

Hail Mary, Blessed Virgin Mary

The Lord is with YOU,

blessed are you in women

and blessed is the fruit of the womb

I gave birth to YOUR Saviour,

Thou art our souls..

168.     

Came after delivery to the post office, there was more God in to myself

169.     

This state  by itself  passed on to the staff.  

170.     

Before the work, I went to church in the Alexander-Nevsky Lavra, so I saved my soul

171.     

but the team was not happy, in order to continue working it had to become a part of them, and the most wonderful in order to manage myself and I was a part of Jesus Christ

172.     

Fired...  the reason was found, they were ander press  of churchman/

173.     

The nun-sisters with whom I lived at the Church of the Protection of the Mother of God did not want to take me back, because it was difficult peel me out from my God 

174.     

Sveta is a good person - a holy soul, outside, but she does not love the spirit, but takes away grace. But they say,” Spiritual treasure a thief does not steal and aphids undermine”.

175.     

Spirit and soul at opposite sites,

it happens to everyone,

when a person comes to the temple,

And there is no disagreement between spirit and soul,

when honey is on the tongue,

but on the heart, stone

176.     

We did not enter yet, we are on the doorstep not in the Temple.

And then the whole world is a theater, and we are actors in it.

Just a perfect picture and not life, on another site it was, jealousy and anger.

When sincerely, the heart is on the head

177.     

MEANS THERE IS NO SECOND BOTTOM How to achieve harmony of soul and spirit, when everything is sincerely, otherwise we are remain in the doorstep, and we will not enter into  the temple of Jesus Christ  "On the tongue is honey and on the heart is FEELed THE SECOND BOTTOM."

178.     

Love the enemy?

Would you love your loved one

When he's stronger and higher

179.     

I turned to Him but it is difficult to go now, destroyed by resistance, and faith in justice and now there is snot where love should be and my left hand hurts

180.     

When two years have passed, I had to go to the monastery, the children are students. they need me. 

I continue to take care of my children, mostly I was at home, keep house in order  and cooking, went to the temple and prayed for  family.

181.     

I listened to the sermon to Christ, Said "In Truth"

turned  and went the way of my life to Him

Or is this the fate of only the chosen ones?

182.     

And now, resentment, guilt, emptiness,

do not forgive anything

to shorten the heart and soul

God will forgive,

He forgives everyone,

He lets go of all debts

The region of my heart

Resentment and there should be love

You will forgive and it will not be

183.     

Priests influence me through my family , my ex-husband keeps me away from himself, goes to church alone, says that it is impossible to talk about me together , we begin to sort things out. Through him, they begin to ruin me spiritually, and everyone said yes, this is right, well, she stole this heart

184.     

In May 2018, we divorced by mutual consent , I saw extreme disrespect from my spouse because I didn't earn enough

185.     

My daughter's soul was badly damaged, she studied at a construction and architectural college was all about architecture, a big program, it was very difficult, we paid 48 thousand per trimester for 3 years, the ex-husband decides not to pay for her studies..

186.     

Yulia is crying I can't work on the computer she was given  another soul, she says I don't like the profession.

187.     

For Yulia, it was a strong psychological trauma, she studied so much and as a result, she has no diploma.

188.     

I decided to raise funds of 48 000 rubles by myself, to pay for last trimester. Fsk my relatives for 10,000 rubles each, as a result:

• Yulis annt, Tanya Tarasova said there is no money;
• My Aunt Lipa said she can't;
• Yulias ancle Maxim said he will try to find;
• My Mom said, that she would help;
• Yulias grandmother Fira Nikolaevna Tarasova didn't even open the door ;

189.     

Later, she even turned to the Psychoneurological Dispensary No. 3 of the Krasnogvardeysky district

190.     

And she went to work as a saleswomen at "Watsons" shop.

191.     

Yulia is being dismantled, everything holy is being taken away for their own, they have taken her head and now they are making a sinner out of her.. (The head is her profession, architecture) The father whom she loved betrayed her, and relatives on his side.

192.     

Yulia's was  soul enchanted  to her father, and she loved him very much (he took her love), but he pushed her away and said: "Yulia, I give you money, go to the store, and she went and bought something for herself," and money is the equivalent of love for her, and He returns her soul to Yulia through money-love;

193.     

Relatives followed the bad example of the clergy began to turn the children against me, (I earn little money) I began to hear you are interfering with life, from my husband, they say go live with your Мother

194.     

In May 2018, we divorced by mutual consent , I saw extreme disrespect from my spouse because I didn't earn enough

195.     

The family of my ex-husband's sister Tatiana Tarasova

196.     

He is Alexander Vakhabov, exalted, refined, a genius, a Muslim, Skinny as " koshchey"

197.     

She is Tatiana Tarasova,   «his sheep, insidious, kindness itself from the outside, bile flows over the edge on her fellow slaves»

198.     

Children Anna and Nikita are their salvation, everything is for them

199.     

My children Yulia and Stanislav are expendable for them, Anna and Nikita have the souls of my children.

200.     

And Staska under Nikitka, who works on the stock exchange, takes away his Si-energy at night..

201.     

Stas is 25 years old, he is worried that he does not have a girlfriend of his life , only a dad who takes his feelings, gives indifference to life

202.     

PetroKomplektService

Me and my ex-husband are the creators, founders of this company

203.     

Now continues to work, my brother Maxim is the director there, located close to the Lavra But the staff of the PetroКomplektService immediately took me badly

204.     

Also, after the service, I went to PetroКomplektService , i  wanted to find my new place there,  but I do not  want  to become the same as I was before Canada, all day long to work, as result “to search  and do not  find” I mean God

205.     

The priests realized that it was not so easy to "push  me off  the path" and began to spiritually invade this organization , the staff of this company just hate me, without any reason.

206.     

employees of Petrokomplektservice, Kovalenko N. Lapteva N. Bezgodova N. To transfer my spiritual wealth - my spiritual family to them, and they do not mind. 

207.     

THE PROOFS ARE THE RESULT

208.     

I am divorced. T­he church where we got married and went on Sundays divorced us.. after 20 years of family life, I give part of my apartment to my spouse, but my spouse and I were divorced, nevertheless

209.     

For love, I got hite.

Love the enemy but the enemy has become even greater

Pray for your enemies, bless them.

Вut in a world that is not united by a great idea there are different laws now

210.     

RESULT of  the work of  priesthood

• Children, seeing such an attitude towards their mothers, cannot understand that going on , children receive money  from their father and disrespect to me

• they are fired me  from work because  (they wanted me to become a part of them, and I am a part of Jesus Christ )

• I can't get a job by  my specialty as PE Teacher

• Daughter Julia leaves college six months before graduation

• After Julia left the College, the Spouse passed the 1c Professional exam

211.     

They are taking away my destiny,

I’ was a mother of two children. had good family, they give me another destiny ,

They opened up the casket of my soul through Jesus Christ and put their own order in it.

212.     

They want me to forget my history, Jesus Christ, to become my old self,

Because I'm not  serve church, I live among you in the world, but with a very circumcised heart, now it's only in my loins again,

but exercise helps me.

213.     

Since Sveta my cousin  is a saint, through myself, she was helped by the priests of the Alexandro-Nevsky Lavra and their wives to create a Heaven , “For my account”, where the hearts of  their of their wives and the most powerful chosen people in the past , because she serves for the church. And my domestic church, there were all this hearts  is destroyed, reined ,this is my family but not at all

214.     

Once, when Sveta came to St. Petersburg, she said that nun Miphila had freed me from "charm" which was not true. It was a great gift I received from Canada. It was all my spiritual efforts.  But I am still spiritually   alive.

Being the original source that is constantly ruined. I and my children

215.     

The church oppresses me, they have entered spiritually into my family and do not love me , have turned my life into anything, they try to disqualify me, remove me, first spiritually then physically, because I hinder many: 14 people and only those I know, they are given my source in  abode of theirs

They ruined of me, they “dug a pit for themselves and got there”,

I mean, then deeper the pit, the worse it is for them.

But the church does not want to admit that with me a secular woman, did so badly

216.     

The secular people are not enter in the Church, it is the flock for the Shepherd, and the flock is his children whom the Shepherd does not love, because in the world again love is only in the loins now...

Secular people in the church are not included, they are only in the narthex "herd" - priests feed them, the _question is who to whom.

217.     

I want to return to Canada where I was reborn

218.     

All this is from the field of psychology we are realists we need facts and evidence

219.     

Psychology, the science of the soul and what is the soul?

This  is our conscience, a spark of God, a drop of the Virgin

220.     

And why, then, is this Erarchy, to whom, are they pray,  let’s show us your God

221.     

God is an invisible, all-powerful spirit , We pray to him and He comes, Heals and we believe He is in us

222.     

Aleksandro Nevsky Lavra knew me as a cleaner, but as I wrote, this job was for me not  for money in the temple, mainly for women, only for cleaning

223.     

As I have already written, I could not stop going to secret services because I felt opposition, if  I stopped going, I thought, then my Christianity was quickly taken from me, and transferred to their  person , my cousin Svetlana

224.     

When I was fired from the Lavra, I summed up the period of my life:

They firmly believe in the bad, then they look for a reason for punishment and do not find it 

225.